I received a phone call from my step dad, Bryan, on Saturday December 20th around 9pm. He said that Grandpa was back in the Hospital and wasn’t doing very good and wanted to know if I wanted to talk to him. I got the feeling that Bryan thought this might be my last opportunity. It was hard to listen to his weak and slurred voice (most likely from the pain killers) but at the same time it was so good to hear that voice on the phone. He was still just as sharp as ever. He said he would have liked to have seen my brother get out of prison, and that he sure would have liked to have seen ‘those’ girls again, meaning our three little ones. He even laughed when I told him my mom got a cute new kitten for an early Christmas present. He spoke like a man who knew his time was ending, I tried to ignore that and think positively. I made sure that my last words to him were “ I want you to know how much I love you”. After I hung up I cried. I tried to push away the thought that that was probably the last time I would ever get to hear his voice or his wonderful laugh and I still had hope. Hope that somehow God would do a miracle and heal him and he would go home. I called Bryan first thing Sunday morning to see how he had done over night. He said “actually he seems to be doing better today” with a hint of enthusiasm in his voice. That made me that much more hopeful. We were snowed in that day and the girls and I stayed inside almost all day baking cookies and other Christmas goodies. I had intended on calling Grandpa later on in the day since Bryan had mentioned he has his cell phone with him at the nursing home he was staying at. I didn’t get to do that. At about 4:30pm Bryan called my cell phone. He told me grandpa had passed away. I tried to be strong and get logistical about it asking questions like when and how and who was with him. I thought that would help me not feel the emotion. I couldn’t keep that up for very long and I had to hang up after I started crying and could hear my step dad crying on the other end. My heart was crushed. A moment I had dreaded for so long finally coming to pass, loosing someone I was close to and loved dearly. I am still trying to figure out how to process it and deal with the emotions that come.
Yes, he was my grandpa and was ‘elderly’ by age (would have been 81 this January) but his death really did come as a shock. He was so full of life and still so active. He was still driving, traveled all the time, and was as sharp as a whip mentally. He still had so much life left in him; I thought he would live for a long long time. He was healthy up until his first hospital admittance about a month before his death. He was battling with high blood pressure that caused a tear in his aorta. He was in the hospital for a week or two and then was discharged to recover at home. They hoped it would heal on its own. I guess nothing could keep my grandpa in bed because according to Bryan he decided to exercise and that wasn’t good for his condition. He ended up back in the hospital and then was moved to a nursing home. There wasn’t much they could do for him. They couldn’t operate because it was too risky at his age so their hope was that with plenty of rest and nursing care it would heal on its own. I am not sure of all the details so some of them may be wrong. I only have a small picture of all that occurred and eventually ended in his death.
My Grandpa Traughber was an amazing man. From the outside and to those who didn't know him I am sure he looked ordinary. But he was no ordinary man at all, he was extraordinary. Not just in all the ways he served his community but mostly because of the person that he was and how he lived his life. Anyone who knew him would not need me to further explain this but since most of you didn't have the priveledge or honor of knowing him I will try to do my best to paint you a picture of the man I called Grandpa. He was a minister for most of the years I knew him. He was district executive minister of Idaho District from 1977-85, in a part time position while he concurrently served as pastor of Fruitland Church of the Brethern and the nearby New Plymouth United Church of Christ. He was pastor of the Fruitland congregration for a total of more than 30 years. He also served as a member of the Church of the Bretheren General Board from 1989-94. In other volunteer service, he had a passion for working with the church's disaster ministries and was a counselor for the Fruitland school district and was also a very active member at the local Lyons club. Where there were people in need, my grandpa was there trying to meet those needs. Simply put he spent his life in service to God and people. He was the type of person who was always looking out for others and always serving others. I never saw him angry and never heard him complain. He did his work with joy and with thanksgiving. The thing I loved about him so much was that although he spent almost half his life preaching God's word from the pulpit, he could have gone his whole life without ever preaching a word and God's love still would have been taught to those who came in contact with him. He lived his life in such a way that even in his silence, God's love still shone through and flowed out. There aren't many people I can say that about in this world. It's the type of person I am striving to be and I am thankful to have had such a wonderful example in my life.
I met my grandpa when I was probably about 2 years old. My older brother Robert was about 5 and Ben hadn’t come along yet. The fact that Robert and I weren’t biologically related to Bryan didn’t matter. He and his parents accepted us right away as their family and we never knew any better until we were much older. I never felt like a step child in their home and my best childhood memories are the times I spent with them. Ben was born about a year after my mom and Bryan got married (as far as I can put together). I always felt safe, secure, and loved when I was with Grandma and Grandpa Traughber. Even after the marriage between my mom and Bryan ended the love and acceptance that they showed me didn’t. No matter where life took me and how far away I lived Grandpa and Grandma always made sure I knew I was always their grandaughter and I always had a place with them. My favorite memories include both my grandparents. I loved to play my grandma’s piano in their basement, and I don’t remember too many times being asked to stop. I have great memories of playing in their bathtub as a little child. I would stay in for what felt like hours. We loved to slide down their stairway banister that must have been made for that purpose alone. We always got in trouble but that didn't keep us from trying to get away with it next time we were there. I even caught my now 26 year old little brother doing that very thing this weekend while we were there. Grandma always had the greatest books she would read to me, one of my favorites to this day being “Ricky Ticky Tumbo No Sirumbo”. She would also play records for me while I sat in a chair and she curled my hair for church on Sunday morning. I loved the sound track to the Bambi movie. Still when I hear the songs from that it brings back warm memories. I loved playing on their property on their swing set or with their horseshoe pits or just running around and stealing grapes off the grapevines. Sunday’s were always a special day. Grandpa being a minister meant we always went to church and after church, if there wasn’t a pot luck at the church, we would come over to grandma’s house to a wonderful pot roast dinner. The house always smelled so amazing on Sunday afternoons. I have to say though my most cherished memory from those days is one that is burned onto my heart. Every time we would go to grandma and grandpas there was no knocking on the door, we would just walk right in and be met by the stairs (that at that time seemed so big) that lead up to the kitchen and living area where the family always congregated. As soon as I would bound through the door grandpa would say “Who’s that?” in a curious playful sort of way. He always knew it was me but would always ask and it made me feel so special.
Those are the memories from my childhood that I cherish and I will always cherish. As an adult Grandpa was there to officiate at my wedding in 1998. It was always my dream that he would do my wedding and it was so special to me that he was there and such a special part of such a speical day. My grandpa was also an amazing wood worker. One Christmas he sent me a set of wooden salad utensils. They are beautiful and I have used them from the day he sent them. If you have been to my house in the last 7 years for dinner, chances are you have been served with them. The time has now come that I will wrap them up and put them away and some day pass them on to one of my daughters. A few years back I remember telling him that any time he wanted to make any wooden toys for my kids he was more than welcome. The next Christmas the girls each received wooden puppies that grandpa had made them, and they still play with them. I will cherish those memories and those tangible things he made out of love for me and my children. I will cherish the last time we spent together which thankfully was only 3 months ago. In September, we took our kids to Disneyland. Grandpa and Grandma were going to be in Laverne California at the same time. We set up a time and met for breakfast at Denny’s. We visited and ate together and spent about an hour and a half with them and their daughter Judy who lives there in Laverne. It was great to see my children warm up to him so quickly and crawl around on his lap and give him hugs and kisses. His kind eyes, gentle voice, and playful manner were too much for them to resist. He loved children and if they were around him they always gravitated to him. That is how I will remember him. I will miss his laugh, oh what a great laugh he had, especially at his own jokes. I will miss his homemade ice cream and onion rings, but mostly I will miss his big bear hugs that no matter how old I was always made me feel like a child again. I love you Grandpa, thank you so much for loving me and accepting me. I look forward to the day when I will see you again. If God has a sense of humor, when I enter the gates of heaven maybe I will hear your voice saying “who’s that?!”.
